Being Transgender
That means my gender differs from what I was assigned at birth.
For an instruction to what being transgender means, and the broader concept of Gender Dysphoria, see The Gender Dysphoria Bible.
FAQ
Does this mean you’re a different person?
No. I just became a girl of my own free will, and I am much happier for it.
What hormones are you taking?
- 8mg/day estradiol pills (4mg morning, 4mg evening)
- 100mg/day progesterone
Previously, but not currently:
- 50mg/day bicalutimide
Do you have preferred terms?
Yes! We prefer to be called a “transfem” or “trans girl”. “Trans woman” (not one word) is also fine, but for reasons unknown we don’t really feel connected with “woman”. Sis, girl, girlie, all are fine.
Do you have non-preferred terms?
Dude we can tolerate, however please avoid it where possible. If you call us “man” or “bro”, we will actively dislike you.
How did you know?
It took a hot minute to figure it out, but we eventually got there. One of the bigger signs was the sheer volume of female characters we made when playing D&D or other games. We just connected with them better. It all came to a head early-to-mid 2022 when we wrote what is effectively a self-directed expose compiling a bunch of evidence that we are transgender called “On Being Transgender”.
Can we read that expose?
I don’t feel comfortable publishing it in full, however I will give you some snippets. Please keep in mind this was written in 2022 and we’ve learned a lot about ourselves since then. Also not sure why we insist on “transgender female” instead of “transfem”. For the sake of sincerity, these snippets are unedited.
At this point in time, and as I have in the past, I identify as a cisgender male. However there is a mounting body of evidence that seems to indicate that I am actually a transgender female. As one could say, “All signs point to Egg”, and it is here that I will be documenting my thoughts about myself on this topic. This document does not have any set structure, and is essentially just a lose collection of thoughts that I am compiling for myself, and was not intended for publication. If I sent this in its present form, then please note the deeply personal nature of the commentary, and please do not use this information as a way to try and antagonize me. However, assuming it is friendly, honest, and good-faith discussion, I welcome questions and commentary. If you are a friend of mine who, upon seeing this, feels that I am a different and alien person, let me reassure you that I am still the same person, just more actively introspecting upon my gender identity. If you then further feel the want to antagonize or hate me for who I may be, then first let me express my utter disappoint. If you want to cut things off, that is up to you, but I do not need to tolerate a toxic presence in my life, and I can and will cut people out of my life who act in bigoted, hateful, and short-sighted ways. With all of that said, I hope this commentary is insightful, whether to myself or the reader.
Throughout my time of questioning my gender, even up until now, I’ve run into several specific feelings that somewhat impede me just outright saying that I am a transgender female, following logically from the evidence.
The first is a general sense of apathy towards my gender. “Sure, I’d prefer to be female, but I don’t particularly mind being male.” The second, and perhaps more interesting, is the feeling of “I don’t have time currently, I’ll question this later”, which has so far served primarily as a method of procrastinating the introspection to come to a conclusion. Even self introspection isn’t immune to my (very bad) procrastination habits.
The combination of both of these has led me to the somewhat roundabout method of pseudo-acceptance of “All signs point to Egg”: For all intents and purposes I know that there is a large amount of evidence to me being transgender, but I haven’t quite accepted it yet.
At this point, I’m still not quite sure where I stand. Am I a closeted furry trans girl on the internet? In all likelihood, yes. But I’m still not certain, and I don’t know if I ever will be. Gender identity and expression is hardly a cut-and-dry topic, and every classification is merely a descriptive word, not a hard edge with which to put people into buckets. I wish I could be told a certain answer that I could accept, that there is a logical series of steps through which to deduce an unquestionable, impartial, and correct answer, but there isn’t. The best I can do is to introspect, come to a conclusion I am happy with, and proceed as best as I can.